I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
