i barfeds in our rink
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
