it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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