he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
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I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
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I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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