toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize