We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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