We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just want to make out with him forever
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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