you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize