wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
