I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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