This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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