Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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