Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize