Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
