Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
