If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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