Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You made out with two different species that night
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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