I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
