I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
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He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
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I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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