this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
