My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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