And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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