as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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