Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize