Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
