I think I am morally bankrupt
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
