I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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