he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
