it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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