I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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