I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
