I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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