I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
