got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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