Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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