my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
