Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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