i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My life is pants optional.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
