Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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