some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
