he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
