Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
