You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
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i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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