O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
