I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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