forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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