Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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