Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
