'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
