I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize