Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
