i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
