alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
