im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
