fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
