So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
sex in a hospital.. check
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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