butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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