You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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